Embrace what you can’t control.

After shooting over 100 weddings and meeting all kinds of wonderful people, I've noticed people tend to fall into one of two categories on their wedding day.

The first spend a lot of their time focused on the day itself. Worrying about timings, making sure guests have arrived, Checking in on suppliers, Making sure people have drinks and dealing with any slight imperfections to the ideal plan of the day.

The second type roll with it. They let go of the idea of a perfect day, and instead just go with the flow, laugh when things don't go to plan and spend their day soaking it all in. And in my opinion, they always seem to have a better day.

The biggest thing people panic about before a wedding is being photographed. Every single week I hear the same things. “We’re awkward.” “We don’t know what to do.” “We hate having our photo taken.” “We’re not photogenic.” You and me both, honestly. The second somebody points a camera at me, I suddenly become aware that I’ve got hands and have absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to keep them.

The reason most people feel awkward in front of a camera is because their entire life experience of photography has been someone telling them to stand still and smile properly. School photos. Family photos. Someone’s mum shouting “say cheese” while everybody stiffens up and looks deeply uncomfortable. Wedding photography should not feel like that. You do not need to perform. You do not need to know how to pose. You do not need to look at the camera all day. You just need to exist together and let yourself relax into the moment.

The weather is another big one people obsess over, and I promise you now, there is absolutely no point worrying about something you cannot control. Put a good plan in place before the wedding, trust the people around you to handle what needs handling, and then let the day happen. That’s it. Once the wedding starts, you are no longer in control of every moving part, and fighting reality for twelve hours straight is an exhausting way to spend one of the biggest days of your life.

Some of my favourite moments I’ve ever photographed have come from things going “wrong”. Couples dancing in the rain. Guests falling over laughing. Dogs jumping up and leaving muddy paw prints all over wedding outfits. Drinks being spilled. Wind catching somebody’s veil at the exact perfect moment. Real life is messy, chaotic and funny, and weddings are exactly the same.

I once had a guest fall clean off a wall during a group photo. Everyone was lined up on this veranda and somebody realised Bill was missing from the picture. I shouted him over and told him to jump around the back and squeeze in. He hopped onto the wall, completely misjudged the fact there was a huge drop behind it, and disappeared backwards into a bush. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt, but the entire wedding erupted laughing. People were talking about it all night. The photo itself wasn’t even that good, but the moment was brilliant because it was real and everybody experienced it together.

That’s the thing people forget. The “imperfect” moments are usually the ones that make a wedding feel alive.

Muddy dresses are brilliant. You bought that outfit to wear for one day, so wear the absolute life out of it. Hair gets messy. Makeup runs because people cry and laugh and sweat and dance and hug each other. Wind does whatever the hell wind wants and, honestly, wind can get in the bin because one second you look like you belong on the front of a gothic romance novel and the next your hair’s wrapped around your face like a haunted scarecrow.

None of this means you can’t prepare a bit. Have a touch-up kit. Bring a second shirt if you’re a sweaty person. Give kids something to do before they start climbing the furniture. Build a good timeline before the wedding and make sure your photographer, venue, coordinators, and wedding party all know what’s important to you. Planning matters. Of course it does.

But once the day starts, your job changes.

Your job is no longer to manage the wedding. Your job is to live it.

That’s the emotional shift couples need to make. Because the memories you create on the wedding day are the same emotions you’ll feel when you look back at the photos afterwards. If you spend the entire day stressed, panicked, and obsessing over what’s gone wrong, those feelings will come flooding back every time you see the images. But if you laugh through the chaos, stay present, and enjoy yourselves anyway, that’s what you’ll remember too.

The second you stop fighting the day, you start living it.

And that’s when the magic actually happens.